Recently, I have been talking to a new mom with a 6 week old baby. She's an older mom and having a tough time adjusting to being a mom.
My first phone call with her was productive. But the tone in her voice was very somber. There was some crying -normal. Then I asked her what she was feeling. She said: Trapped, alone, regretful, guilty. Naturally she felt horrible saying these things...
The truth is it is HEALTHY to say these things. She was able to get them out, hang them on the line, get it out of her head. No new mom wants to feel these things, but women do and I am here to say it's okay. I worry about the moms who say and do nothing about these feelings. This mom reached out for help and support.
My second call to her was much better. Her voice was lighter, she was laughing more... it was wonderful to hear. She even sees a future now with her baby AND one for herself- very important.
Talking is a wonder action to take. I recomment using the words, in transition and adjustment for the first several weeks at home with a newborn. Instead of trying to diagnose yourself for "Post Partum Blues" or "PP Depression" . These terms make it sound like new moms have an illness. You don't- unless it has been diagnosed as such by a medical doctor.
I'll be following up with her again. But, I am confident she will be adjusting better now that she's "dumped" those thoughts and the real ones are taking over ... happy and in love with baby.
L